No need for Goals

At first glance, September and January have very little in common. However when you look further, they are both full of new beginnings.  September is the new school year, new teachers, classrooms and classes.  January is a new year which often prompts people to make changes in their lives.  Both are clean slates and both are rife with new goals to work toward. 

Now I want you to say the word goals to your tweens and teens and see how fast their eyes roll. Goals are addressed at all levels and in all classrooms both spoken and not.  However, there are inherent problems with goals as we all use them now.  Do you have a goal to get healthy?  That goal is HUGE! There are so many facets of health and the goal to be healthy is not specific enough.  So what happens to that goal…it gets tossed to the side when life gets in the way.  What if you focused on the process of getting healthy in order to achieve a goal of being healthy?  Our kids have goals for themselves as well such as making the varsity soccer team or getting into a specific college. These goals have similar problems as the goal to get healthy.  The major issue with both of these goals is that there is an element of the goal that is out of control to your student.  They cannot control if they are chosen for the soccer team or getting into their dream school. 

So how do you focus on the process both for yourself and your kids? Well Formed Outcomes to the rescue!  There are four easy rules to using well formed outcomes in your household.

1. They have to be stated in the positive. This means they will not use works like I will not or cannot.
2. Success or failure must be within your control.
3. They need to have a good size to time ratio so that you are not overwhelmed and feel like you can begin.
4. Finally your well formed outcome needs to be specific and measureable.

So let’s look at the goal of “Getting Healthy”.  How will you go about getting healthy?  Will you exercise? Will you eat differently?  From just those 2 questions we can create two very rich well formed outcomes.  The first is, “I will work out at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes each time for the next 2 weeks.” This well formed outcome is very easy to measure, if in two weeks you have not been able to follow this, you can readjust or look at your current systems to see what might be hindering you.  Also you have control over whether or not this well formed outcome gets done and it is stated in the positive. 

Now let’s look at a well formed outcome for your kids.  So you have a budding soccer star who wants to be on the varsity team, how do you help them get there?  Getting on the soccer team is not within their control, but preparing to get on the team is.  The well formed outcomes here could be, “I will practice my ball juggling every day for 30 minutes for the next two weeks.”  Another well formed outcome to go along with ball juggling could be, “I will go for a 40 minute run 4 times a week for the next two weeks.” These well formed outcomes allow your teen to take control of their soccer career as well as celebrate successful preparation. 

Once you are used to using well formed outcomes, they become a way to make change in your everyday life.